tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5848384635452554453.post8152958968038694026..comments2024-01-03T06:55:14.493-05:00Comments on Writerly Rejects: Entry #25 The Rejectshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14718181520456876346noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5848384635452554453.post-310456459819924602012-09-12T22:24:10.462-04:002012-09-12T22:24:10.462-04:00Is she doing her homework in the hallway? It kind...Is she doing her homework in the hallway? It kind of sounds like it.<br /><br />Very cool! I love the opening the door and entering another world. :) I would read on.Sharon K. Mayhewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07799235347319851345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5848384635452554453.post-32550229202809932752012-09-11T22:29:07.862-04:002012-09-11T22:29:07.862-04:00This sounds awesome. The title caught me immediate...This sounds awesome. The title caught me immediately. One thing that might help your tagline - I had to read the very last sentence a couple of times. If you could reword it a little it might pack more of a punch. <br />I loved the first page. Very good!Wendy Johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10326816435723118863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5848384635452554453.post-53864675827658807492012-09-10T11:58:48.302-04:002012-09-10T11:58:48.302-04:00I like the premise of this a lot, it drew me in wo...I like the premise of this a lot, it drew me in wondering what was going to be beyond the door. One suggestion would be where you write "Or had there?" That didn't seem very believable to me..I'd think she probably would have noticed it, and that may make your readers doubt the authenticity or doubt your MC a bit.<br /><br />I like how you contrast the colorful, spacious yard and the gray, summer day in Dublin. (Nice insert of letting us know setting btw.)<br /><br />Good job!Jodie Andrefskihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02991534398238542843noreply@blogger.com