Thursday, October 17, 2013


Name: Annie Sullivan
Title: Goldilocks
Genre: YA Fantasy

Pitch:  Why did Goldilocks go into the forest? To kill the three bears.Four years after the bears killed her parents and friend, Orin, sixteen-year-old Goldilocks searches for a way to kill the three bears that continually attack her village. She joins the Night Watch, the group that protects the village, and goes on the hunt. She faces dangers both inside and outside the forest, including a curse that could change everything.
First 500 words:
         I gripped my staff and waited for the attack to come. The grass under my feet was still slick from the season’s first frost. My breath came out in puffs that drifted off toward gray, low-hanging clouds. The sun had barely crested the horizon, signaling the start of another day. For those of us who survived the night, there was always a certain joy in seeing the sun float into the sky.

            And today was going to be one of the most important of my life.  

            “Begin,” a voice called. It sounded far away, as though it was coming from the enchanted forest instead of from across the practice field.

            I raised my staff to fend off the blow, but I was a second too slow. My muscles had tightened after standing around in the morning cold. The blade skimmed off the metal cuff wrapped around the end of my staff before biting into the wood, cutting out a chunk, and forcing me to stumble backward to stay on my feet.

            “You’ll have to do better than that if you want to beat me, Goldilocks,” Rhys said. He readied his sword for another blow, displaying hints of the dark green and black uniform of the Night Watch under his protective leather vest. A thin cord bound his hair at the nape of his neck. His otherwise handsome face was marred by his crooked nose. It’d been broken during a training session a year ago. Despite the injury, he’d gone on to win the fight.

            His jaw clenched as he readied his next blow.

            I took a deep breath and prepared myself. I’d fought Rhys hundreds of times. Only this time, it was different. If I scored well enough, I’d become a full member of the Night Watch. And I needed to join their ranks. I needed access to their store of weapons. I needed their permission to leave my house after dark. But more than anything, I needed a chance to come face to face with the bears that killed my parents.

            Rhys jabbed his sword forward trying to get past my staff. I twisted it to block his blow.

            “Impressive,” he said, circling around me. “You’ve been practicing.”

            “I couldn’t let you have all the fun killing the bears without me.”

            He struck again, but I swung my staff to knock it aside. I tried an attack of my own. I rammed the end of my staff toward Rhys’ ribcage. But he was too good to let me hit him. He’d been in the training class two years ahead of me and was rumored to be the best fighter on the Night Watch.

           I’d never beaten Rhys in a fight. But I didn’t have to beat him this time. I just had to get enough hits in before the Commander called time.
            I wasn’t sure if our pairing for the Night Watch trials was coincidental or if he’d somehow gotten his father, the Commander of the Night Watch, to set it up.