Monday, September 10, 2012

Entry #13

Name: Laurie Litwin
Book Title: GRIPPED
Genre: YA Contemporary (Edgy)
TAGLINE: ‘It’ girl Taylor has it all, including an addiction. As she drinks more to cope, she gets careless, showing up at school drunk, almost getting expelled and alienating her friends. Driving drunk, she crashes her car, exposing her secret. The truth is, she can’t survive without alcohol, and she’d rather die than give it up.

1ST 250 WORDS:
Senior year just started and it's already perfect.
Varsity Cheer. Check.
Hottie boyfriend. Check.
Kicking ass in school. Check.
I spin in a circle, inspecting myself in the mirror.
It took me a half hour to pick out an outfit, but I nailed it. Dark wash Joe's jeans that make my non-existent butt look perky. White sweater than shows my tan. Leopard ballet flats for a touch of flair. I need a little more lip gloss. 
I'm searching for my make-up bag when the screen on my phone lights up with an incoming text. Olivia. I dial her number, putting her on speaker.
"Why are you calling me? Only old people actually call anymore, Taylor." I can hear music blaring in the background.
"Hello to you, too. I'm trying to finish getting ready and I'm running late. Blake'll be here any minute. No time to text. What's up?" I'm yelling toward the phone while zipping back and forth across my room, looking for my OPI nail polish. I just noticed the polish on my right pinky finger is chipped.
"Oh shit. I forgot you had a date. I was going to invite you out. I'm meeting up with Lauren and Ashley in an hour. We're gonna go find a party to crash.”
"Yeah, date night. We're going to see that new slasher movie. The one with Reed Bentley, the smokin' hot Australian." I'm ecstatic I finally convinced Blake to do something other than go to a party or have sex.


  1. Yeah for YA Contemporary. I'd like to know what happens. I'm interested in the tagline and want to know how MC makes is through.

  2. Great tagline. Very compelling. I like the beginning, but it doesn't really grab me. The voice is believable.

  3. Oops, that was my comment above. Judy Mintz.

  4. Love this voice! I would read this NOW if I could. And the pitch/tagline makes me sympathetic toward the MC already. I'm dying to find out how she fares.

    Great entry, best of luck!

  5. Hey! So glad to see this here. :) It's been awhile since I read, but did you change your beginning? I like this. I like how it sets up that she's got everything going well and how that will contrast with what happens shortly after this excerpt.

    Good luck!
    Leslie (#2)

  6. Your tagline (to me) feels more like a summary. Cut it down to the meat.

    ‘It’ girl Taylor has it all, including an addiction. She can’t survive without alcohol, and she’d rather die than give it up.

    Now, from that, add in the hook that makes this unique. What makes it different than other teen books dealing with alcohol addiction?