Name:
Jeanmarie Anaya
Title: OPERATION BREAKUP
Genre: Contemporary YA
Word count: 78,000 words
Tagline: Crushing on the hottest senior in school who already has
the perfect girlfriend is a lose-lose situation for sixteen-year-old artist
Abby Wheeler, until a shady frenemy proposes a foolproof plan for attaining the
unattainable.
First 250 words:
Ian Koch had no business telling
me where to sit. Talk about pissing me off royally.
He lifted one hand, looking like
it pained him to wave me over. Great. Front row. As if Global History wasn’t
excruciatingly bad enough. I dragged my feet to the chair next to him, then
slammed my ass down so hard I was almost paralyzed.
I’ve never liked sitting up
front. Aside from looking like a bonafide dork, Mr. Rausch has this charming
habit of spitting whenever he’s passionate about war (which, in Global History,
is just about every day). And since spit-shields aren’t sold in the school
supplies section at Staples, I steer clear of the front row. Hiding somewhere
in the middle suits me fine, anyway. It’s a way of life.
“Should we sit at Mr. Rausch’s
desk instead?” I tapped my pen on the side of the teacher’s desk. “Maybe do the
lesson for him, too, while we’re at it? Just saying.”
Ian smirked. “I didn’t make
Dean’s List by hiding in the back of the classroom.”
“I don’t hide.”
“Please. You’re a perpetual
hider, have been since kindergarten.”
I scowled. “I have awards, too,
you know.”
“Art awards don’t count,
sweetheart.”
No less than five minutes into
Global Studies and the first stab of a migraine had already pierced my left
eyeball. It started at the exact moment I’d shoved my hand into that paper bag
and pulled out a slip of paper with Ian Koch’s name scrawled on it.
Love your tagline. Wouldn't change a word.
ReplyDeleteLooks great. I'm interested. I'm not sure why the student is telling her where to sit, though, and I don't like starting a book feeling a little confused.
ReplyDeletesorry, that comment above was me, judy mintz.
ReplyDeleteLove it! The voice is really good in both the tagline and the first 250. I get an mental image of the MC from the get-go. I'd definitely read more.
ReplyDeleteI love the tagline. The only word I might snip is the word "artist". I'm not really sure if it's relevant to the stakes that you brilliantly articulate.
ReplyDeleteI love the opening dialogue. It really worked with such a strong voice. I love the visual of the teacher spitting. It gave me a flashback of a teacher I had like that. LOL!
I'd read more :)
Well done!
I love your premise. Your tagline is good. And I like the voice you have going in this. I'd really like to read more!
ReplyDelete(from Laurie, entrant #13)
I've seen this before (in contests) and I always like the premise (and title!) :) I think the tagline works and it looks like a fun read.
ReplyDeleteGood luck :)
Leslie (#2)
Really great tagline! And I think the opening text is nearly flawless as well - I'm really grounded in the setting. I like the first line, although I would like to know a few more details about who Ian is and what his relationship with the narrator is. Maybe a teensy explanation about why she is so ticked at him? And why she goes?
ReplyDeleteGreat dialogue. I'd love to learn more about these characters. Good luck!